FAM!
September is beautiful on the East Coast! The air is crisp, the Harvard students are back, and I know the second the trees turn, Boston will have officially stolen my heart. Have I mentioned how much I love serving here?! :)
MOM AND DAD! I cannot believe you're in the MTC now. I was thinking of you last night and wondering if you were nervous (mostly Mom- Dad, I'm sure you've been like a kid on Christmas Eve) :) and now I'm wondering what you're doing today. It's probably like drinking from a firehose, but you'll get the hang of it! I'm excited to hear how your experience compares to mine.
It's been a great week. I think I'm finally starting to get the swing of things, at least as far as what I'm supposed to do each day (teach investigators, do whatever the bishop and auxiliaries need us to do, and meet with members and help them figure out how to be missionaries). The how is a different story! And by how, I'm referring to personal revelation. We are have stewardship over these people we're teaching, which is a huge responsibility, and I feel like I'm still not 100% sure of the answers I'm getting. William, for example, has been perfect from day 1. We've taught him everything he needs. He's accepted everything, wants to be baptized, passed his baptismal interview and meets all of the qualifications. It's textbook perfect and we've felt good about it this whole time. Occasionally we've been a little worried that he doesn't fully understand what he's getting himself into, but as we've met with him, those concerns have dissipated. He has been so prepared and is already living exactly how he needs to! He is so Christlike and has taught us so much about faith, obedience, and charity as we've met with him. It has been a privilege to teach him - I feel like he deserves much more experienced missionaries!
But, despite all this, I've found myself wondering if we're doing everything right and if he really is ready. So it's been a little difficult, but then on top of that, we've had some questioning from the ward, which makes it harder to stand up and be like, "I know he's ready!" when I'm still learning to recognize answers and feel confident in them. But, Sister Hyoung and I still felt good about it yesterday when we talked to the ward mission leader and he felt good about it, too, and he assured the Bishopric that William is ready (If William's not ready to be baptized, none of us ever were!) so we're all set! ("we're all set" is a total New England phrase- I'm trying to adopt it) :)
I guess I just need to realize that perfecting personal revelation is a lifelong process. :) And I need to start giving myself more credit by trusting the answers I'm getting (or THINK I'm getting). :) We have interviews with President Packard this week and I'm looking forward to picking his brain on how we gain confidence in the answers we get.
By how, I'm also referring to how to work with members without them feeling like we're annoying/pushy, but I feel like I've got a better idea on that. Answer: LOVE AND SERVE THEM! It's been a weird paradox to learn, but I feel like the less I focus on the mechanics of being a missionary and the more I focus on just loving the people with my whole heart, the easier/more naturally it all works out.
I've probably mentioned the Armand family in our ward. They are Haitian and so giving and we love them! They are all members, except for their aunt, Yvrose, who just moved here from Haiti. She speaks Creole and French and is trying to learn English. Sister Hyoung and I visited Yvrose on Friday and I helped her on her English (mostly she helped me realize how much French I don't remember). I already love her! It's been amazing to experience how quickly serving someone makes you love them. (This is why being a missionary rocks!) I think Yvrose really appreciated it and I feel confident that she will be interested in learning more about the church as we continue to serve her. She actually asked the bishop to give her a calling in the ward, so she's awesome. :)
Also, have I mentioned our digital mission? Quick recap: They are developing blogs where members can share their testimonies and personal experiences of how the gospel has helped them answer real life questions- questions that are being asked online but have no solid websites pulling up with the google searches. (For example, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "Who is God? How do I feel close to him?" "How do I strengthen my relationship with my spouse?") Just another way to share the gospel!! I wanted to include an article I wrote for our digital mission's blog they're working on. (The current site is old- they haven't released the new one yet. I've been giving design input on the new one. Elders Fenn and Langford are digital elders in my district and they are rockstars! But design isn't really a 19-year-old elder's strong point.) :) My article isn't amazing, and I really don't know if it's what they're looking for, but I thought I would include it anyway. :)
Okay, wow, this email just got crazy and out of control, so I'm going to leave it at that. We're trekking to Market Basket to get groceries- always an adventure! I love you all so very much and love getting your updates. Best of luck, Mom and Dad! (I mean, Elder and Sister Wheeler!) :)
Much love,
Sister Wheeler, the younger ;)
Blog Post:
When I was growing up, my dad loved sharing little life lessons whenever he could. He often found the best opportunities while we were gathered at the dinner table. One of his favorite analogies, in particular, had to do with a spoon. He would pick up the one next to his plate, hold it up, and say, "Have you ever looked carefully at your reflection in a spoon?" At that point, I'd roll my eyes in a "yes, Dad, I know this story" kind of way. Despite my adolescent disinterest, he would continue, "If you look inside the spoon, your reflection is upside down. If you look outside of it, your reflection is right-side up." He would always explain this in the context of serving others. When we are focused on ourselves, we won't be happy. But when we focus on those around us, everything is better.
That repeated but simple lesson compounded with the example of my parents has taught me how to build strong relationships.
It comes down to being selfless. Everything my dad does is for us. Everything. He dedicates his time at work to support us financially and spends very little of his earnings on things he wants. When he is home, he focuses his time on us. My mom isn't a step behind him. She is always there to listen no matter what time it is and she dedicates her time to making our family comfortable and happy. I have seen both my mom and dad spend a lot of time serving outside our home as well, taking time they would probably prefer to use sleeping or reading a book or just relaxing with their family to instead help neighbors and friends. My parents are always looking outside themselves.
Their example has helped me to understand how to build a strong relationship with anyone, be it family, friends, boyfriends, colleagues, or neighbors. When we forget ourselves and do all that we can to make someone else happy, that person trusts us, loves us, and feels safe with us. I have always felt that way with my parents. I can talk to them about anything and there is so much love and peace in our home. When I left for college, I learned how to apply the same principles. I remembered how much I appreciated my mom spending time listening to me and so I made a conscious effort to be the same way with my roommates. I was more concerned about listening to them than being heard and I believe some of my best friends have come from that approach to a relationship.
The funny paradox about this is that when we are focused on others, it makes us happier. It seems almost unfair that we gain a reward when our main goal is the welfare of someone else. We aren't serving them because we want something out of it, but the side effect is inevitably happiness for all involved.
I know my home was happy because my parents were deeply rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ which teaches us to be charitable and unselfish. Our Savior is the ultimate example of this kind of selfless love. He taught: "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) Jesus Christ shows us by his example how to be happy and the surest way to happiness and strength in our relationships with others is selflessness.
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